Wednesday, January 30, 2008

you are a GENIUS!
remind yourself of that daily!

i read somewhere, in some book that has become a part of my walk, that you should make an effort to keep close the beautiful things people say about you. record these things in a journal and read them daily. i do this when i can but i rarely reread what i've written. i should. i need to counterbalance the things that have supplanted the gems given to me as a child. for some reason, it's easier to hang on to the voices that have espoused your deficiencies than those that sing your name to the heavens.

i'm not sure what's going on in the cosmos but the past 48 hours have been a showering of words and love on my soul and on my person. from my children, from people of my now and of my long ago, from new found friends, from the most unexpected places. no one wanting anything in return. not even acknowledgement necessarily. just offerings of love and thanks. and just when i was lamenting that at this ripe old age of 37, i have yet to find a cure for the world's suffering or contribute in some greater way to whatever my mission in this life is to be. i keep wondering... how can i create/love/laugh/dance or anything else that might inspire good in the world if i can't pay my rent? but the generosity of their words reminded me that changing the world can happen one small act as a time. all we have to do is believe we are changing it.

thank you for your gifts. gifts of memory and observation. gifts of love and friendship. the bits and pieces of my own humanity that are hard to remember when i feel like such a mule.

today, someone called me a genius; a word which i thought was reserved for people... well, people other than me, or so those voices in my head have whispered and screamed from time to time. but the giver of this compliment explained that genius (true genius) has more to do with life-brilliance than books. with desire, innovation and creative minds. her articulation was so much better than mine and the fact that i can't remember it makes me feel even less worthy. (there's that voice again.) but i appreceiate what she sees in me. and what the other people offered from their purview. i am a genius. the beautiful thing is... we are all geniuses.

shia, the genius