THANK YOU!!! you know who you are…

even if I don’t…

so i come home last night to find a beautifully fragrant, gorgeous bouquet of flowers on my doorstep. no card. no delivery certification. no business staple. just flowers. roses. tigerlilies. and other white and pink blossoms that inspire poems in me. my friend, carole, who was with me, and i stared at the bouquet, at first lovingly... then with the kind of suspicion america imposes on gestures like these. who were they from? should i assume they are for me? because they could be for my mother, right?

well, mom (who is in NYC right now) is baffled; can't imagine who of her friends actually has her address or would do such a thing. so, (thinking the card had blown away in the wind) i immediately credited sweetiebubu... called him to gush my thanks, bookended by i-love-yous. he said, though he wanted to take the credit... it wasn’t him. *awkward* so i ran through my mind other possibilities but none seemed reasonable. i don’t THINK i have admirers like THAT. (LOL) and most of the people i know who do love me and might want to make such a gesture have the same financial challenges i do! so it didn’t seem reasonable that they would spend what was left after bill payments on this gift. (again... not that they don’t love me enough to… you know what i mean…)

whoever you are… wherever you are… THANK YOU. after the creepy feeling subsided, the flowers absolutely MADE my evening. i felt loved... special... acknowledged! isn’t that what we all want?

here's to anonymous gifts of love!

*muah*

shia

Sharon Bridgforth Presents:

One For The Road

A Poetic Jam Session

May 12, 2008 7PM

At Resistencia Bookstore (Casa de Red Salmon Arts)

1801-A South First St. Austin, TX 78704512.416-8885

http://www.resistenciabooks.com

Love Offerings for Red Salmon Arts Accepted
Featuring: Lidia Marte, Samiya Bashir, Shia Shabazz
and an Open Mic Jam

Lidia Marte will read from her newly published book
El Reino de la Imagen: Memoria, Comida y Representacion(2008 Isla Negra Editores, San Juan-Santo Domingo).

RedBone Press author, Samiya Bashir, will read from
Queer Codex: ROOTED! Anthology Edited by Lorenzo Herrera y Lozano, Published by Evelyn Street Press & allgo.

Shia Shabazz will read from her newly published chapbook
Momentary: Poems by Shia Shabazz

Immediately following Lidia, Samiya and Shia's reading there will be an open mic.
Writers/visual artists/musicians/dancers invited to jam (up to 3 minutes)

As some of you know, though Bridgforth will be in Austin a lot/she will be based in NYC & L.A. beginning June 1 - so come on out and lets share "One For The Road" before she takes off.

More about Lidia Marte's book...
(this book is an Afro-Caribbean stew of theauthor's external and internal migrant journeys)El Reino de la Imagen es un sancocho (sopa)poético/político de una memoria proletaria yemigrante al romper del siglo 21.Ensayo visual, etnografia tercermundista,vomito existencial?Más allá de las posibles etiquetas, estelibro propone la validez testimonial de nuestraexperiencia cotidiana e históricamente específica.http://www.islanegra.com

More about Queer Codex...
ROOTED...QUEER CODEX: ROOTED! Features poetry, short stories and visual art from 11 queer women and trans-identified artists, Queer Codex: ROOTED! is inspired by Sharon Bridgforth's artist residency as part of allgo's 2007-2008 Cultural Arts Season: Envisioned & Created Space(s). Queer Codex: ROOTED! contributes to a growing body of literature and visual art by queer women and trans-identified artists of color, of Jewish descent, activists, scholars and cultural workers. Contributors: Wura-Natasha Ogunji, Sharon Bridgforth, Senalka McDonald, Samiya Bashir, Matt U. Richardson, María Limón, Jennifer Margulies, Cheryl Coward, Anel I. Flores, Ana-Maurine Lara, Adelina Anthony. For more about Samiya go to: http://www.samiyabashir.com

More about Shia Shabazz's book...
Momentary features poems presented in Shia's recent interdisplinary performance, produced by The Center for African and African American Studies, UT Austin, directed by Florinda Bryant. Momentary explores epiphany,and inspired moments that propel activism, inspire art/love/living and inform who we are/who we become. Shia is a Cave Canem Fellow and a member of The Austin Project. For more information go to: http://groovenbuttafly.blogspot.com

ALL THREE BOOKS WILL BE FOR SALE AT THIS EVENT!

supa FLY ... supa FLUSTERED
can the two co-exist? yes!!!

life these days is filled with contradiction and a whole lotta noticable juxtaposition. acceptance and accomplishment lives in the same space as rejection and illumination of my short-comings. it can make my supa FLY feel supa FLUSTERED, and vice versa. i've felt a bit of both lately.

all in all tho, this past week has been a BLAST! the moments will be dog-earred as some of the most memorable pages in the book that is my life.

last sunday, i actually made it to and through my performance, Moments We Know. the process was SO interesting. i learned so many truths about myself (which put to rest so many of the lies i believed from people who haven't known how to love me). and i learned so many more truths thru the people who showed up (physically and figuratively). that's not to in any way accost or accuse anyone who didn't make it. (REALLY!) but i am SO grateful to those who fed me during the weeks/days/hours leading up to the show and to those who walked with me through it. and the talk-back was fascinating, to hear what resonated with people and which words/poems/thoughts prompted questions/observations/interest. i was glad to see it come... and go. it was the scariest and most exciting thing i've done since birthing my first child. all of the pains and pleasures of the experience lived in my body. and though there were many guides and coaches around to give love and support (for whom i am immensely grateful), the actual labor and birthing process were mine to bear. and it felt like a big ole baby! but it came out beautifully flawed and healthy, all major pieces intact. and i, like any new parent, am exhausted and amazed that i gave birth to such a glorious gift and gave it to the world.

sweetie bubu came in for the performance which created a-whole-nother level of anxiety and love. his brief but completely fulfilling visit made the longing for him as a part of my daily life more intense. but it also made the knowing more intense. soon...

in the week that followed i got to see my favorite smith brothers, "E" and "jubu", working it out with rhianna and maze, respectively. wading through clamoring fans at the kanye/rhianna concert, was mtv personality sway calloway, who, as it turns out, i DO know. (i've said it for years... "i KNOW that cat!") when i stopped him, he said the same thing ("i know you!") and we realized we go waaaaay back... relating thru an ex of mine, who's kin of his. anyhoo, movin' and shakin' in a town that usually stands still for me was a very cool.

this week i am back at work, but no longer working on the supa fly project i was working on. it ended... but i'm STILL EMPLOYED and ecstatic about that! but it feels like i've slowed from 110 mph to 10 mph. which in some ways is cool; but in others can be extremely frustrating. i guess i should be thankful for the breather while i have it.

anyway, i also found out that i didn't get into a program that i was told i was a "shoe-in" for. i'm taking it well, which is good. but i really hate the rejection thing. there are twinges of doubt/insecurity flaring like pimple in my mind. was it my age? why am i not a fit? is it because i am no longer a student? is it... (a la martin lawrence in Boomerang)...racial? (LOL) anyway, i guess the bottom line is that it just wasn't my time for the program. oh well... but i'm waiting to hear back from a coupla other things that i submitted to. wish me luck. better yet, put in a prayer and a bit of positive energy for me... that it is my time!

overall, my children are brilliant, i'm relatively healthy (save the re-injury of an ankle sprain or foot-something that i refuse to have treated... when are we gonna get every american insured around this mutha? obama... where you at?) my job's going well, sweetie bubu still loves me, i haven't lost all of my friends and i am still determined to keep love as the order of the day... i'd say life is very good. kisses, kinks and all...

Al[l]ways Love...
*MUAH*
shia